How to stop thinking about your hookup.If Your Partner’s Romantic Past Bothers You, Here’s How To Get Over It

 

How to stop thinking about your hookup.The Gentleman’s Guide to Post-Hookup Etiquette

 
You only have to date them if you want to. There could have been many reasons for the hookup: feeling lonely, hadn’t had sex in a while, you were drunk, you just felt like it. Whatever the reason it might have been a one-off. If they are interested in pursuing a relationship but you’re not, you have to shut it down. You can’t lead your friend on. Do the deed and run. Don’t sleep over, kiss, cuddle, or talk about anything other than when and where your next hook-up session will be. You can text or call each other as long as it’s limited to sending suggestive messages, naughty phone time, or making plans for your next hook-up. Anything more romantic than that is off limits. In a healthy hook up, you both are clear about what your wants are and have the same expectations. If sexual acts aren’t giving you what you want, and you want more intimacy and connection, STOP.

More From Thought Catalog.The Gentleman’s Guide to Post-Hookup Etiquette | GQ

 
 
Have a strict control over your infatuation. Infatuation and committing on a person is different from each other and an involuntary neurochemical process that can accompany with the hookup. The more you are intimate with them the more your commitment will ted Reading Time: 6 mins. 1. Ask yourself if it’s just about making love. Do you actually have a thing for him or have you just fallen for how 2. Does he seem to have feelings for you? This is a hard one, but you should be able to notice subtle changes in how he 3. “Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on Estimated Reading Time: 5 mins. You can keep some of your secrets, as your casual date won’t insist on knowing everything about you, but opening up allows you to set some ground rules that both parties should respect. Communication is the key here and it will prevent the most common situation, which is when one party starts wanting something more but the other doesn’ted Reading Time: 9 mins.
 

 

How to stop thinking about your hookup.This Is Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Casual Hook Up | Thought Catalog

 
Do the deed and run. Don’t sleep over, kiss, cuddle, or talk about anything other than when and where your next hook-up session will be. You can text or call each other as long as it’s limited to sending suggestive messages, naughty phone time, or making plans for your next hook-up. Anything more romantic than that is off limits. 1. Ask yourself if it’s just about making love. Do you actually have a thing for him or have you just fallen for how 2. Does he seem to have feelings for you? This is a hard one, but you should be able to notice subtle changes in how he 3. “Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on Estimated Reading Time: 5 mins. You only have to date them if you want to. There could have been many reasons for the hookup: feeling lonely, hadn’t had sex in a while, you were drunk, you just felt like it. Whatever the reason it might have been a one-off. If they are interested in pursuing a relationship but you’re not, you have to shut it down. You can’t lead your friend on.
 
 
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Emotions aren’t always perfectly logical, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. LeslieBeth Wish tells Elite Daily. But wonder is different from worry and anxiety. According to Dr. Wish, there are a variety of reasons you might be feeling conflicted over your significant other’s past.

If your partner gets emotional or upset when talking about their ex, or is still in regular contact with their ex , you might feel particularly triggered over this issue. Not every partner who maintains a friendship with their ex is cause for concern, of course — sometimes, a friendship really is just a harmless friendship — but if your partner seems very defensive or protective of their connection with an old flame, that might spark worry or doubt in your head.

It’s also possible that “your hurt, disappointment, and fears from your previous relationships can intensify your worry,” Dr. Wish points out. Or girlfriend, or partner, or whomever you are with now! Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge how far you have come to get here today. Wish advises keeping a journal. This can help you better understand how you behave and think in romantic relationships. She suggests exploring your mindset by writing out answers to the following questions:.

In addition to journaling, Dr. Wish suggests seeking the help of a therapist who can help you untangle these emotions and move forward. It’s also worth considering your own romantic and sexual past. If you’ve dated or slept with other people, and you’re now fully excited about and focused on your new partner, isn’t it possible that your new significant other feels the same way about you?

Rather than keeping your worries to yourself, try initiating a conversation with your partner. It shows vulnerability, honesty, and the fact that you weren’t afraid to commit in the past.

Plus, your new man or lady is less likely to feel jealous or emotional about your romantic history if you address it early on. Remember, those choices ultimately brought them to this relationship with you! How your partner reacts to this conversation will tell you a lot about their current headspace.

With some effort, you can get there. Keep going! LeslieBeth Wish , licensed clinical psychologist. Emily Holmes Hahn , relationship expert. This article was originally published on By Jeff Billings and Sarah Ellis. Updated: June 23, Originally Published: Aug. Search Close.

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